Two Confessions of a Minister

Confession 1: Too often I judge a person's spiritual maturity by how active they are in the church.

There is real danger in local churches (especially those that have lots of programs and ministries) to make judgments about people's maturity or dare I say it, even their relationship with God, by how connected and active they are in the local churches programs and ministries. Let me first clarify that I believe there is a difference between being connected to God's people (church) and being connected to the programs of the church. 

Hebrews 10:25 is plainly clear that we should not forsake the assembling or ourselves together. Any Christian who lives unconnected with their brothers and sisters in Christ are living in rebellious disobedience. (Hebrews 10:25 is only one of hundreds of verses talking about the unity, oneness, fellowship and togetherness of believers). 

I confess that as a minister in a local church, passing judgement on people's maturity by how active they are in the programs of the church is something I find myself doing. I think that in part this happens because I am highly invested in my local church in a way that some are not. Not only is my day job an investment into the people and life of my church (because I am a paid staff person) but my personal life outside of work is also quite often an investment into the life and people of Otterbein. Because of my investment and I'd like to think, because of my passion for the Lord, I want to see Otterbein as a people and organization thrive. That is my excuse but the fact is, there is no biblical ground for judging a person's maturity by how active they are in the church's programs. It is a hard thing for me to get away from and I recognize that there are some very mature Christians out there who are making disciples but they are not doing so through any of the churches programs. 

Having said all that I know I need to change my mentality and stop making un-biblical judgments. On the other hand, lest any immature Christian think I am giving them an excuse not to be involved in their local church let me say this: If you are not making disciples and being discipled outside of the churches programs and ministries you better be doing so within the churches structure. "Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ" - Dietrich Bonhoeffer. The church is God's people working together to make disciples. It is always God's people working together - there is no other way.  

Confession 2: Too often I find myself doing ministry out of a desire to achieve earthly success.

I know God's call is not for me to seek earthly success but rather, His kingdom. Why is it then that I can't just let all my desires for worldly success go? Why is it that I feel a need for people to think I am a great leader and wonderful man? Why do I feel like my identity is caught up in whether or not I am a part of a growing and vibrant church? Am I any less a child of God if He asks me to serve the lepers in India without so much as a single person noticing. Just the opposite actually. Those who receive earthly success in this life have received thier reward, but there is one whose reward is eternal. I realize no one wants to hear this but is not this God's truth?

Matt 6:1-4

"Watch out! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. 2 When you give to someone in need, don't do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. 3 But when you give to someone in need, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. 4 Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. 

I am not as spiritually mature as I appear to be when I am before God's people exhorting them from Romans 12 not to conform to the pattern of this world. I have conformed and struggle to quit conforming almost daily. This is a real battle with real results. When I put away my desire for earthly success (it does happen by God's grace) I am always amazed at  how clearly I can see God's glory and truth. It's as though I am blind but suddenly God gives me sight. And  then the evil of my heart begins to long for earthy success and my focus on Christ fails and BAM - I am blind again. 

God is always good and I believe He sees the battle more clearly than I do. I also believe He sees the victory I have in Christ more clearly than I do. I will say that I am growing in this area. I have been able to lay down some specific desires for earthly success by God's grace. However it is entirely possible that I have also picked up some new ones. However, I do see more clearly some of the sacrifices that I must make to live out God's rhythms for my life. I have even made some of those sacrifices (I wouldn't be here if God's hadn't granted me the grace to make some of those). However, let's be clear. Any victory in this area is purely God's grace at work in me. I am a weak person but my God is mighty. 

I think all of us probably struggle with this to some extent. Laying aside our desire for what the world has to offer is tough stuff but it is necessary. This doesn't mean we dont' enjoy the fruits of our labor. It does mean though that our greatest loyalty and passion is for God and His kingdom. It also means that the Christian life will be a life of fruit bearing and change. How many Christians today can say with tears of humility, "I desire Christ more than I did before and desire the things of earth less." All of us should be able to say this but of course not without saying as the Apostle Paul did, "Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"